Coming out is seen as an integral part of being gay and being part of the community. A lot of people go through different struggles when they are/do something that goes against what society deems the norm, but there are also other people that don’t go through any struggle at all. Struggles comes from inner issues and conflicts to the fear of what the world holds in store for you when you admit the truth about who you are, to it and to yourself.
Labeling becomes a staple of who you are, despite the fact that anything you’ve seen on banners or signs, preaches that no one should be treated differently for how they look, what they say or who they make sloppy kissy face QuickTime events with.
Labeling can be an isolator as much as a binder. It can give someone a sense of belonging and it can make others feel ostracized. I wrote an article about ostracization a while back and it barely touched on my feelings regarding the subject, truth be told I don’t think I can eloquently scribe what my feelings are on it, because, at times, it brings up negative feelings.
Suffice to say I do no adhere to any labels, though I am pretty damn gay. I love them boobies, but I also don’t like to see them objectified. I am happy to be a woman, yet sad that others put so much effort into the hatred of woman. We bleed, give birth to your big bald heads, get underpaid and then when we play video games, the orbs on our chest become some sort of HILARIOUS avenue for insecure mockery. Give us a break or better yet, stop thinking we need you permission to go about our business.
When it comes to actually being a gaylordette, I never had issues like many people did. Despite growing up in Ireland and feeling like I was the only gay in the green green village, I didn’t feel uncomfortable with who I was, even though the friends I had then would have felt weird if they’d known my leanings.
I don’t participate in many (or any) LGBT related events, political or otherwise, I’d just go about my day. Usually it’s a mundane day. But nevertheless it was a depressing time, because I felt like I had something bubbling inside me that had no avenue for release because I knew nobody who was similar to me in that way. In a similar vain, I had no one to talk to about gaming or comic books, bar one friend and that wasn’t always reoccurring.
So no I haven’t suffered what a large number of LGBT people have suffered and I hate that they did, just for being themselves. Phobia of any kind against people makes me sick to my stomach and want to roar away the morons who give strength to it. But does that mean I don’t have my own pains, does that mean I am less knowing or less entitled to give an opinion?
No, but a lot of people in the LGBT community will think so and bark at you. “You’re with us or against us” is spread online by people who are “just standing up for their fellow *insert here*”.
But I don’t stand up for someone and label it based on their sexual preference. I stand up for a friend, because they’re a friend, I stand up for a stranger because they’re a person. When you start segregating you make it harder for people to connect with your message and when you throw a whole pot of hypocrisy into the mix, you just frustrate people who are either already intolerant or those that support everyone, abhor bigotry, but at the same time are not blind and willing to house and spread hate against a group, such as white straight males.
A lot of people might not understand the pain you’ve went through or are currently going through, but don’t punish them for that fact, don’t make it seem like a random person is the problem. Society has many sicknesses rooted in itself, but that’s not a rule breaking card to condemn everyone and lecture them.
“You tranny fag” is an ugly, deplorable thing to say to anyone.
“You cis scum” is an ugly, deplorable thing to say to anyone.
But instead of trying to make it so people don’t have to put up with any variation of the two above, we’d rather spend time arguing over which is worse and who has the right to feel abuse or hated on more. That is not how it works. That is only making an already horrible problem, worse.
You don’t need to fit a label to be subjected to phobia and you can find allies and support in people who also have their own opinions that may differ from yours. But if you think that someone saying “hang on now, that’s not what they meant”/”lets clear things up before we go crazy”/ or whatever, automatically deletes someone’s mutual hatred of bigotry, then you are very wrong and very closed minded.
We should all be working together to actually change things, not running around in stupid circles, arguing the same points, for the sake of arguing. Some people like a fight, more than they do a reconciliation.
We’re all human, we’re all no better or no worse than the person standing beside us. Basically what I’m trying to say it
And that applies to everybody.